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Once I have 5 minutes alone I will update on what has been the most fucked up past 7 days of my entire life...

What its all about...

So, the job is going amazing. I am making great money, I am doing a great job and I am earning respect from some very important people extremely quickly. Personal life...well, thats kinda sucked on and off for 5 months now. The girl and I have broken up more times than I can count, Ive hurt her, she has hurt me...its been an ongoing process. The messed up thing about it all is the fact that it has all been about things that happened long before the 2 of us ever met...I guess pain and mistakes from the past are their worst when they can even harm your present and future. Its like you dont understand that a mistake you made five years ago can and will come back to haunt you...its a brand. When youre me, you carry with you many brands and many ideals and opinions...an asshole, a prick, a "player"...name it...Ive probably been labeled it. Maybe Ive been so caught up in my mistakes and so insecure about how people view me I have made these things into much more than they really are with my girl...either way, she emailed me a poem she wrote...its about the first date we went on...I was blaring "My Sweet Annette" by the Drive By Truckers...I read this today and I started thinking, how could this girl NOT love me...and how could this NOT be right...She'd be pissed if she knew I was sharing this but Id say maybe only a coupe of you who read this know her so screw it...

Driving down some small town road
Me and you and all I owned
Rearranged in your truckbed
Listening to "My Sweet Annette"
Looking out at what we passed
Through the furturistic glass
All I saw was you and I
and all the roads we'd travel by
How do I begin to tell
the way I knew both then and now

Baby I can say I love you with absolute certainty
In a world of confusion, thats no luxury
Ever since the first time that I found myself in your arms
Ive been locked there captive to all your charms

You say youre not my type of man-you break the mold that I set
But baby thats the precedent that you set when we first met.
Nothing in my life has ever felt so real or true
As the endless ways that Im so in love with you
No fear or doubt could cast the shades of gray
On this sunny place Ive found with you today.
So as we're driving down this road
and where it goes we dont know
I hear the song we heard that day
and think of how my life has changed

In the time that we've been us
I carry you in all I do
I laugh more, hope more, smile more, dream bigger, sleep better and love so true

But, how do I begin to tell the way that I knew both then and now
that all I see is you and I
and all those roads we'll travel by...

I GOT THE JOB!!!

I am now an official employee of carterusa.com

I am in charge of the accounts for development and property managment sector of the company...IM RICH BITCH

Guess I'll try and get back to HNT...my feet and fight bag while I was waiting for my flight to Phuket from Bangkok 

Sun Thru the Clouds...

I had an interview today with a huge commercial real estate firm. They called me back 3 hours later to tell me I need to come in again tomorrow...I need this. Everything in my personal life is a complete disaster...it'd be nice if my professional life could just maybe this one time be OK...